It isn’t easy…and it isn’t easy to describe.
Most of what passes between us, would be barely perceptible to any outside observer. It’s a look, a wink, the length of the pause between words. Subtle, almost telepathic questions, and commands. But, then, maybe that’s what makes it so powerful. So beautiful. So insidious.
So exquisitely painful…
The simple fact of the matter is that, all at once, I am his whole world, and his nothing. He loves me with a fierce emptiness, that relentlessly consumes all of me. Taking everything- leaving everything behind. He never looks back… not ever
It’s a dangerous game. A game I can never win, but one I dare not lose. The stakes are much, much too high.
“For every gift, the gods demand a price. The greater the gift, the greater the price.”
– C.L. Wilson, Tairen Soul Series
In a sick, twisted way, that is the way of it. The narcissist gives, and he takes away. The giving is glorious, generous, and gentle…though the times of giving are far, and few, between…. and absolute delusion.
The fall is swift, and without mercy. Everything inside of you shatters. He rips your soul from your body, and rapes it. He doesn’t stop until every last corner of your mind is infused with his loathing for you. The nightmare continues until you are empty.
The few who manage to fight, very quickly learn what becomes of those who think themselves mighty. They will be laid bare. Flayed open until every weakness is exposed, and branded.
Open, angry and raw… And utterly without cure…
The only way out- is up,
~The Narcissist’s Wife