Valentine’s Day With A Narcissist

Valentine’s Day With A Narcissist

Diary of A Narcissist's Wife
Valentine's Day with a narcissist, or even without the narcissist, is a cause of dread for a lot of you. Believe me, I get it. I felt exactly the same way a year ago.  Valentine's Day after leaving a Narcissist is a whole new experience It's a much, MUCH BETTER experience. I'm actually kind of looking forward to this Valentine's Day. No, I don't have a new man who adores me and showers me with love and affection. I'm still happily single.  I'm looking forward to the day of love this year because, it'll be the first time in over a decade that I don't have to worry about mind-games, getting the silent treatment, or some other crushingly disappointing event.  Bonus: I also don't have to pretend to love some…
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Honoring Emptiness; Grieving Nothing

Diary of A Narcissist's Wife
The problem isn't that I grieve.(Everyone grieves) Everyone leaves a vacancy, an empty space, An ache... When it's time for them to go. The problem isn't that he made me cry  Or that he tried his best to find And forever bind, inside of me That tender, nebulous thing That, within himself, He could feel no more  And it isn't that he deceived  Made me believe things He could never achieve. Like love, Or integrity, Or having substance. The problem isn't that I grieve Everyone grieves, when someone leaves  A vacancy, An empty space, An ache... The problem is that the ache, The vacant space That hollow place His lies once filled Is emptier still And I grieve that it always has been so No, the problem isn't that I…
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My Apologies

Diary of A Narcissist's Wife
Sisters, Today I wanted to write you an apology. I know that I have been totally inactive lately- not posting new articles, not updating, or organizing the site, as I have been intending to. I haven't been on my Facebook or Twitter pages, either. I've been just completely MIA... and I apologize. I know there are some of you who had come to rely on my posting, and I'm sorry to have just disappeared so suddenly. As such, I feel I owe you an explanation. My life has been in a total uproar, for the past several months. I've had to abandon my home. I got dragged into court three times. My husband has been on over-drive, since he finally came to comprehend the fact that I'm done with him.…
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A Weakness for the Broken Ones

A Weakness for the Broken Ones

Diary of A Narcissist's Wife
How I experience #empathy... in so many words. And why the compulsion to heal is so freaking strong sometimes... A Weakness for the Broken Ones For a breaking heart Or writhing soul Or cold body- desperate for heat For an angel, or demon, Sinner, or Saint I advance, when I ought to retreat Because their longing- it rips me Their grief- destroys me The weight- too much to bear My senses strained Each nerve, a flame Compulsion fills my lungs- Is my air. The fear, the rage Desire and shame Steal my breath, as they race through your mind And I can no longer tell Who belongs to this Hell Your eyes close- and I become blind Thoughts go silent Rhyme and reason- gone All that remains- an ache, needing release My will- neglected Nothing…
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My Own Personal Brand of Insanity-Addiction

My Own Personal Brand of Insanity-Addiction

Diary of A Narcissist's Wife
At midnight, I stared at God Arms spread wide Heart-broken-open  to receive the stars My night-soaked skin humming With inspired conceit Black holes and nebulas My voice and lungs And a heady potion  Of arrogance & naïveté  Consumed me  I longed to cut away his darkness Sever his toxic supply  His air... stolen from my lungs  Left me breathless, destitute... and hot for him.... Always My emptiness cried out for his My righteousness thrived on his neglect Kept running- lungs burning- muscles aching Into his poison flames Branding my soul With righteous suffering My naïveté lived terrified of his abandonment Unaware he'd never been mine He'd never been To begin with  He'd only possessed me My arrogance rose to up meet him I'd could match him Challenge him Force him…
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