A Light in the Darkness: A Story of Hope in the Face of Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Healing Trauma
I know that my approach to healing the trauma of narcissistic abuse/domestic violence, and moving forward after it, isn’t exactly the norm. I promote forgiveness, and having faith. I encourage holding on to hope in the face of abuse. I don’t promote anger, hate, revenge, bashing narcissists (though, cracking jokes about their insanity is, honestly, pretty much unavoidable) or, spending years rehashing every abuse (at length) in narc forums/groups. Many people might disagree but, I believe that our healing comes from a combination of gaining higher understanding, absolute accountability for our experience, the release of traumas past & present, and the cultivation of unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. And, I know that the ability to see things, from a positive perspective is a serious game-changer. My heinous experience of narcissistic abuse…
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How to Make the Narcissist Pay

How to Make the Narcissist Pay

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Healing Trauma
I get these kinds of questions a lot: "Isn't there some way to make the narcissist suffer, the way I've suffered?" "Isn't there some way to make him pay?!” "What? He gets to just walk away, while my life, my heart, my mind, and my spirit are left devastated?!?! It isn't fair!" For today, I'll spare you the, 'This life, with all its mysteries, is just too damn perfect to be fair' speech. (Although, if you're going to keep reading on this site, or if you plan to get involved in any of my coming-in-the-very-near-future programs, you'll have to resign yourself to hearing it, at least, once. LOL) Besides, I totally get it. You want to make him pay. You want him to answer for all the cruel things he's…
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How to Tell if YOU Are the Narcissist

Narcissistic Personality Disorder-Narcissism
Are YOU the Narcissist? How to Know For Sure. There are many thousands of reasons why being married to a narcissist just plain sucks. I can personally attest to that. The sheer number of abuse tactics used against you is enough to drive anyone to the very edge of insanity. And yet, once you're at that edge, the abuses just keep coming. One push, after another... just to see how long it takes before you topple over that edge. Narcissists are relentless that way. Here is a little irony for you… Even though my husband had approx. 77,348 different ways to annoy, enrage, confuse, devalue, manipulate, and objectify me- in the end, none of that is what made the narcissistic abuse experience so terrifying for me. Not to say that…
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50 Ways You Devalue Your Woman (and don’t even know it)

50 Ways You Devalue Your Woman (and don’t even know it)

Narcissistic Abuse
If you're a decent man, you don't ever want to purposely devalue your woman. But, on occasion, if you're not being entirely thoughtful, you might end up doing so, without even knowing it. So, as a reference, I made a list of ways you devalue your woman (probably) without meaning to.  This, obviously, differs from the narcissist who always devalues on (and with) purpose. Whereas, in a moment of testosterone-induced insensitivity, a normal man may end up acting in ways that cause his woman to feel she isn't of very much value to him, these freak events are seriously rare, and quickly acknowledged, admitted, and atoned for.  Narcissists, quite on the other hand, are devaluing you for a very clear purpose. Not only does devaluing you make him feel better…
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What Does TRUE Accountability Look Like?

What Does TRUE Accountability Look Like?

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Healing Trauma
That's it! I've had enough. He's gone too far, this time, and I've HAD IT! I can't take another moment of his torture. I'm outta here! Your overnight bag is packed, and you've arranged to stay a few days with your parents, or a friend. You are SERIOUSLY DONE with his shit. He crossed the line SO FAR this time, you're seeing red and you're ready to sign the injunction... (more…)
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