This post may seem a bit off the wall, especially considering that I usually write about all the pain and misery that narcissists cause the ones they “love”. But after so many years of enduring that pain and misery… I feel that it’s time to do something about it. It’s time to stop playing the victim and fight back..in the only way that can guarantee victory.
Every experience in our lives is an opportunity, and the kind of opportunity each experience presents is entirely up to us. We determine the significance of everything that happens to us. WE get to choose whether any particular event will be a forgettable molehill, or if it will become a life-altering mountain. WE get to choose whether a thing will strengthen us, or destroy us. The choice is always ours. It’s always up to us to choose.
As hard a pill as it can be to swallow, we have a choice as to which role we will play in our relationship with the narcissist. We choose everyday, whether we will play the victim, the villain, or the hero… if we will be broken, or rise to our victory. Everyday we decide. And while the decision may not always be one we are aware of, it is always our choice. And because of this one, simple choice – one we make every day, we have the power to rid ourselves of all the pain and trauma that the narcissist has caused us.
We have the power to heal ourselves of this affliction I call, toxic love, and become someone better, and stronger, than we ever thought possible. And, it’s all thanks to the narcissist.
It boggles the mind how one who can cause so much misery, and despair, can also be our greatest healer. The catch is- we must CHOOSE to LET the narcissist heal us. How? Well, it’s simple, really. All we have to do is receive the messages they are here to tell us…
Narcissists can only hurt us as badly as they do because, they instinctively know how to locate every, last one of our weakness, and every, single, one of our deepest fears. Once they’ve found them, they rip and tear at them. They poke and prod at them. They trigger us at every turn, and bring out the very worst in us. They feed off of the energy we expend trying to keep those weaknesses, and fears, buried. And THAT, is what causes us so much pain.
The bad news is… the longer we refuse to get the message, the more it will hurt. It’s meant to be that way. The narcissist’s job is to continue to dig at our inner-wounds until the pain is so great that we can no longer ignore it, and we choose to either heal, and grow stronger from it…or allow all our potential to be destroyed by it. Those are the only two paths we can take.
For as long as we continue to try to repress our deepest fears, and weakness, we remain vulnerable to the provocations of the narcissist.
I want to show you how to travel the path to VICTORY!
You see? All that is required of you, in order to go from victim, to victory, is a simple change of perspective. And yes, it really IS that simple. I didn’t say it would be easy, mind you but, it IS simple. If you can start seeing the abuse as a message… one that, if you receive it, will show you EXACTLY what to do in order to heal those weakness, and overcome those fears, then you will no longer be hurt by the petty tactics of the narcissist, but intensely interested in all the messages he has to deliver- and you will do what it takes to heal, and grow, until the narcissist no longer affects you, and you are free from all the pain. He, then, has no other choice except to either grow with you… or leave you in peace.
You are NOT an idle bystander. You are only acting the role of an ‘extra’, in your own life, when you ought to be playing the HERO.
YOU deserve to be the focus of your own life.
You can choose to hear the messages that are being delivered to you. Then, take them to heart, and deal with what needs to be dealt with. It won’t be easy. And sometimes, it will hurt. But you WILL HEAL, and you will come out the other side stronger, wiser, kinder, more confident, more compassionate, and more loving than you ever thought possible. This is for certain. You WILL have your ‘Happily Ever After” and… while the odds are incredibly slim, there IS a small chance that yours won’t be the only life you save.
Just wait until you see what comes next,
~The Narcissist’s Wife