About The Narcissist’s Wife

About The Narcissist’s Wife…

Hello. If you’re new around these parts, allow me to introduce myself properly. My name is Story Lynne… but, I’m better known as The Narcissist’s Wife.
This is me…
TheNarcissistsWife.com - About The Narcissist's Wife
I gotta tell ya, I’ve  tried writing this page about 100 times- and throughout this process I’ve learned something: I’m not good at writing ‘About Me’ pages. At all. Seriously.
So, I’ve decided that I’m just going to write the basics and hope that I cover the appropriate bases in the process. Here goes…
I’ve been married to narcissist for about 10 years, and am now in the process of divorcing him. I have four children, two of which I share with my narc-hub.
I have been the target of narcissistic abuse  for longer than I care to think about, and after continuous escalation over the past few years (to the point of physical abuse), I finally decided I’d had enough of the pain and degradation. By that point, I barely recognized myself. I was physically, and emotionally, sick: a mere 92 lbs., near-agoraphobic, anxious, suffering regular panic attacks, depressed, emotionally raw… and etc. I felt helpless, and hopeless.

Something had to give.

So… I did what I do best. I started researching, and reading. I eventually tripped over “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”, and it was like the camera on my life suddenly came into sharp focus. Finally, everything made perfect sense. I knew that- now that I had a name for the demon I was wrestling with- I could find a way to beat it. I could find a way out of the pain and confusion. And, that’s exactly what I did.
I spent years studying trauma, psychology, personality disorders, PTSD/C-PTSD, energetic healing, emotional intelligence, leadership skills, communication skills, trust, intimacy, boundaries, relationship building, and a lot more… (and I still continue to study). I learned how to heal my emotional trauma, and how to effectively handle the ongoing abuse/harassment without further trauma.
Bonus: I also gained a good 30 lbs. (I’m damn near curvy now!)
I started this website, at first, to purge the poison in my mind. It slowly evolved into a platform for me to share my experiences, and my lessons learned, in the hopes of helping women, like you, to heal their own trauma and take back control of their lives. I know the Hell you’ve been through, and I understand the pain, frustration, and confusion, you’re feeling. I also know, from personal experience, that you don’t have to feel that way forever.
I hope that the information you find here can help you to start taking steps in the direction of your own healing and, ultimately, your freedom from abuse!

Mostly, I want you to know that- You’re not alone.

And, you don’t have to suffer in silence anymore. There is a way out.

 Oh… and, one more thing:

It is my highest honor, to serve you. 

~ The Narcissist’s Wife

15 thoughts on “About The Narcissist’s Wife

  • Anonymous

    Just read your post when I googled “narcissism and birthdays” and I was just awed by the fact that I could have wrote that myself. The similarities blew my mind. The screen shot from the texting. I’m like is this him ? It hurts but it makes me feel better I’m not alone and others understand. Trying to be strong and leave, because he is killing me from the inside out and I can’t live like this anymore. Thank you for writing, it helped me get through this morning ….

    • I’m so glad that my experience could offer you some kind of comfort. And, I certainly can relate to the experience of being killed from the inside out. It took being on death’s doorstep for me to finally wake up. The trauma was so bad that my body was, quite literally, eating itself. It was either I leave and heal… or die.

      You are absolutely not alone in this. We all share eerily similar experiences. Narcissists are nothing if not pathetically predictable. Right down to the words and phrases they use against us. You should check out my series “In A Narcissist’s Own Words”. I explain different tactics that narcs use, and include transcripts of actual conversations between a narc and his wife. I have a feeling you’ll find a lot of validation (if not some relief) from reading those posts.

      Lastly, let me just say that you are so much stronger than you could possibly know. You’ve survived thus far, and that’s no small feat. Yes, leaving hurts. It’s guaranteed to be stressful, scary, and full of drama… BUT, it’s nothing compared to the prospect of spending any more time with a narc than is absolutely necessary to guarantee your safety in leaving.

      Please, feel free to reach out if I can help in any way. I offer private sessions for healing trauma, safety planning, and/or general support through the process of leaving/divorcing a narc & recovering/moving forward in the aftermath. (thenarcswife@gmail.com)

  • Monet McIntyre

    I’m just relieved that I was able to stumble upon this web site .

    Im going to need to talk to you about quite a few things sooner or later .

    Thank you for being there 💕✌💋

  • Monet McIntyre

    I’m ‘Going through a lot~ waaaaaay too much to post here .

    I just need to know right now that someone else out there understands what I’m going through .

  • Anonymous

    I have been married for 25 years to my narc. I have MS and can’t work. I need his insurance. I came into the marriage with over $300,000. He stole every penny. He even forged my name on my stock certificates. I have caught him numerous times looking at porn. We haven’t had relations in 15 years. He sleeps in the basement and his office is down there as well. When he’s home, he there. Otherwise, he travels for work. I asked him if we can put a tracking app on our phones. He refused. We cannot have a civil conversation about the state of our finances without him screaming at me then storming out of the house. We have 3 daughters. The youngest is a freshman in college. He waited until the very last possible date to pay off this semesters tuition by borrowing $7,000 from our oldest daughter. He is a control freak and refuses to let me look over our bills and such. We are now living paycheck to paycheck and we are in our mid-fifties. He is a chemical engineer with an MBA. He quit a paying job to open a company. I recently found out that he borrowed a total of $100,000 from his mother while he was “building” the business. After the police came to the door to put a lien on our house he finally got a real job but is gone almost every week from Tues to Fri. I also found out that he hadn’t paid our state or fed taxes in years. We are now on a payment plan with both. He never apologizes. Well, because he’s never wrong. I have a degree and some great ideas. He ignores them but expects me to be his assistant. No way! I am dying to move out. Our house is old and falling apart. He doesn’t care because the basement is nice. Ugh. That’s enough. I could write a book about the gaslighting and his inability to tell the truth. He will lie about the most stupid insignificant things. Anyway. Thanks for listening. I am a hollow shadow.

    • I’m so sorry to hear all that you’re going through. I know exactly how that feels. To not be allowed access to finances (of course, every time he needed to borrow money from his mom, he blamed me for pissing our money away…even though all I was really allowed to buy was groceries- sometimes), and even though I had a great business I started and that was really taking off and making good money, he wouldn’t be involved. He kept looking for whatever get rich quick scheme he could find, and (just like you said) wanting me to do his “assistant work”.

      All I can say is that, if you have good ideas, start working on them without him. And don’t let him know about it. Open your own bank account and start controlling your own finances. Before you know it, you’ll be able to get the hell out of there, and support yourself. Then, you can take him to court for fraud. And embezzlement. Doesn’t matter that you’re married. Finances are legally supposed to be between the both of you.

      You’re smart and a strong lady…I can tell. You can do this. I believe in you.

  • Christina

    I’m 48 and I left my narc husband 2 months ago. I was married to him for 26 years. It took me over 10 years of part time college and then nursing school to be able to support myself so I could leave the son of a bitch. I have 4 children. My husband has NPD. Life is short, I didn’t want to look back one-day and say “why didn’t you leave?” I’m happy and very proud of myself!

  • Linda

    I just read your total write up. I’m trying to create a plan also. Financially. Is there any tips you can send privately to tell me what I should do for an exit plan./ divorce. I don’t know if and when I ask for a divorce. It isn’t something I plan on doing for at least until my 16 year old are in college.

    • I intend to start writing A LOT more about coping & exit strategies, and also, the only things a person could do to possibly improve their situation.

      I’ll be posting the next one today or tomorrow! Thanks for reading! 🙂

  • Is there a way I can sign up to get your new posts by email? Hitting the “Follow” button at the top of my screen just adds you to my reader, and I’m afraid I’ll miss you since I follow so many blogs. (That is, I want to add you to my “elite” list!)

You know you want to say something. Go on....

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: